nottabeater | Why? ((Journal entry, open to all text replies, and to <user site="livejournal.com" user="victormak

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Why? ((Journal entry, open to all text replies, and to <user site="livejournal.com" user="victormak

I... just need to write something down, I guess. Something happened, and I'm not sure... I....

So sad. We all are. Some are mad. Honey's all confused and isn't sure what's going on. Neither am I, really.

Jazz is dead.

Not my sparkmate... the other one. The funny big brother one that I tried so hard to save during the war. And now he's gone.

;_;

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Bee hunkers down carefully and puts a hand on her small friend's back, her voice too staticy to say anything.

Hug-hug-hug for her huge buddy. Incidentially, 'huge' has 'hug' submerged in it.

"Thanks," she manages at last, though the static's so thick in her voice that she hardly sounds like herself. "Thanks a lot, Vic."

"Always." She hugged a liiittle bit tighter.

Bee's head goes down then, and two tracks of lubricant show on her face as she starts crying. Softly, so as to not wake the sparkling sleeping on her little bed in the corner.

She looked up, then stretched up to try to wipe them away.

In grieving periods, she was quite certain that words were useless. When Victor was grieving, being consoled verbally just made her angry. So she made a point to show compassion in the other ways.

"I just... don't understand why any human would want to hurt Jazz," whispers Bee, shuttering her optics.

"Humans're stupid--" And there she goes into a soft string of fairly mild cursing, to explicate just how stupid humans were. They were probably decently amusing cures combinations, too.

She wiped her face gently with the sleeve of her jacket.

Bee lets air out her intake softly, then shakes her head a little. "He would've died protecting them. He nearly did in that last fight...."

"Humans can't hivemind. There're always gonna be some who suck like a vampire wi' a tapeworm." She had used that comparison before, but she liked it so she stuck with it.

Bee just makes a sad sound and shutters her optics again.

HUG-CLING-ATTACH.

Bee finally gives in to her impulses and gently picks Victor up, holding her against her chest and silently drawing comfort from her small friend as she cries.

She wrapped her arms around her as much as she could.

After a bit she lifts her head, then winces and wipes lubricant off Victor's hat. "Sorry."

"'S okay, Bee-lady." A solemn nod.

"It doesn't feel like it'll ever be okay." She gently sets Victor beside her sleeping sparkling and settles onto the floor beside them.

"I know," she mumbled, sitting cross-legged.

Bee lays her head on the bed. Her voice is low and staticy as she says, "What if they do it again?"

She scooted over to kiss her cheek.

"Then you'll figure somethin' out. It'll be okay. Y' got a Nexus full of help."

"Yeah... people here too." Her hand gently closes over Honey's little one. She's not afraid for herself; she's a soldier. But the thought of something happening to her sparkling scares her stupid.

She nodded, glancing back and forth between the two. "Maybe y'all oughtta stick in the Ay Vee Field."

Bee ponders that, then hides her face on the bed. "We'll be alright. We know about the threat now. Prime'll know what to do."

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Why? ((Journal entry, open to all text replies, and to <user site="livejournal.com" user="victormak

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